I forwarded Joey a copy of an email I sent to my Pulmonologist, wherein I asked him about medical procedures that may help my emphysema.  Here’s the chat session with Joe where he demonstrates his limitless compassion and support.

 

Joey (2/11/2008 11:51:31 PM): read your email

Joey (2/11/2008 11:51:43 PM): what a melodramatic pussy!

Stonemeister (2/11/2008 11:52:15 PM): yeah, i'm just begging for attention

Joey (2/11/2008 11:52:59 PM): and presumptuous as ever!

Stonemeister (2/11/2008 11:53:15 PM): what do you think?

Joey (2/11/2008 11:53:16 PM): maybe you'd like to tel a monkey how to climb a tree

Joey (2/11/2008 11:53:30 PM): or tell a bird how to fly

Joey (2/11/2008 11:53:53 PM): or show Jeffrey Dahmer how to eat people

Stonemeister (2/11/2008 11:53:58 PM): what the eff are you talking about?

Joey (2/11/2008 11:54:29 PM): your medical advice to the good doctors

Stonemeister (2/11/2008 11:55:01 PM): we had some discussions when i was in denver, and i was following up asking him questions, not giving advice, you ass

Joey (2/11/2008 11:55:06 PM): Have you considered using laser to burn holes in peoples lungs...

Joey (2/11/2008 11:55:36 PM): just bustin' your shoes, doctor!

Stonemeister (2/11/2008 11:55:40 PM): they do it for other organs, i was asking if they did it for the lungs

Stonemeister (2/11/2008 11:55:55 PM): no, i was putting two plus two together, i'm sure someone's doing it

Stonemeister (2/11/2008 11:56:16 PM): there is a procedure where they punch holes in the lungs, and keep them open with stents, which are like grommets

Joey (2/11/2008 11:56:25 PM): are any of your colleagues smart enough to look up information on the internet, doctor?

Stonemeister (2/11/2008 11:56:29 PM): sounds to me the grommets will eventually fall out, and i don't like the sound of that

Stonemeister (2/11/2008 11:56:53 PM): so i asked him if they were using a laser procedure instead, like they are doing for the heart and the pericardium

Stonemeister (2/11/2008 11:56:59 PM): those are 2 i know about

Stonemeister (2/11/2008 11:57:13 PM): pardon me for asking a fucking informed question

Stonemeister (2/11/2008 11:57:36 PM): would you prefer this? "can yoo guys fix me up?"

Joey (2/11/2008 11:57:39 PM): let me ask you something, doctor, can you walk and chew gum at the same time?

Stonemeister (2/11/2008 11:57:52 PM): yeah, that's the same thing

Stonemeister (2/11/2008 11:58:28 PM): i was asking him a coherent question, looking for as much of an answer as i can understand

Joey (2/11/2008 11:58:47 PM): Would you and your colleagues mind if I come back sometime and provide you with a more detailed description of the procedure?

Stonemeister (2/11/2008 11:58:52 PM): excuse me for being interested in the subject, my fucking life is on the line here

Joey (2/11/2008 11:59:53 PM): since you obviously aren't up on all the latest techniques in respiratory surgery

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:00:09 AM): right

Joey (2/12/2008 12:00:19 AM): but, I'm not a physician, mind you

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:00:37 AM): i'm not an idiot either

Joey (2/12/2008 12:01:16 AM): just a patient taking an active interest in his own self preservation...and a class A know-it-all!

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:01:26 AM): here's something to read. just scroll down to Prognosis: www.healthatoz.com/healthatoz/Atoz/common/standard/transform.jsp?requestURI=/healthatoz/Atoz/ency/emphysema.jsp

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:02:35 AM): so lay off, will you?

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:05:24 AM): are you still sounding out the words?

Joey (2/12/2008 12:10:09 AM): interesting

Joey (2/12/2008 12:10:18 AM): just read the whole thing

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:10:23 AM): i only asked you to read one paragraph

Joey (2/12/2008 12:10:39 AM): couldn't put it down

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:10:39 AM): as you can see, i don't have alot of time to fuck around

Joey (2/12/2008 12:10:51 AM): no, not really

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:11:08 AM): i'm probably on borrowed time now

Joey (2/12/2008 12:11:23 AM): it also said that proper nutrition is helpful

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:11:36 AM): that's why i doubled up on mallowmars

Joey (2/12/2008 12:11:40 AM): not 400 calorie aer day diets

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:11:46 AM): 200

Joey (2/12/2008 12:12:04 AM): why not go ghandi?

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:12:17 AM): maybe i should

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:12:23 AM): he didn't die young

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:12:35 AM): now that i'm all cheered up, i'm going to bed

Joey (2/12/2008 12:12:40 AM): he didn't die well either

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:12:46 AM): with my wife

Joey (2/12/2008 12:12:57 AM): what's that?

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:13:10 AM): going to bed with my wife...remember that experience/

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:13:11 AM): ?

Joey (2/12/2008 12:13:25 AM): is that something married couples do on a regular basis?

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:13:32 AM): we do

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:13:43 AM): i'll talk to you tomorrow sometime

Joey (2/12/2008 12:13:55 AM): what's that thing men and women do...that thing with the lips?

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:14:12 AM): you mean suck out each other's colons?

Joey (2/12/2008 12:14:22 AM): yea, that's it!

Joey (2/12/2008 12:14:30 AM): I'd like to do that

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:14:44 AM): to me?

Joey (2/12/2008 12:15:01 AM): is that an option right now?

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:15:02 AM): just don't get my hemmrhoids caught between your teeth

Joey (2/12/2008 12:15:25 AM): I'll try to avoid anything purple and bleeding

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:15:30 AM): but do it romantically

Joey (2/12/2008 12:15:42 AM): flowers?

Joey (2/12/2008 12:15:53 AM): diamonds maybe?

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:15:58 AM): just work around the congealed blobs of fecal matter

Joey (2/12/2008 12:16:12 AM): didn't you say you were tired?

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:16:18 AM): yes

Joey (2/12/2008 12:16:22 AM): that was uncalled for!

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:16:34 AM): which part?

Joey (2/12/2008 12:16:56 AM): suggesting I romantically suck out your colon

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:17:11 AM): ok, then do it out of common courtesy

Joey (2/12/2008 12:17:19 AM): pity

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:17:26 AM): sold!

Joey (2/12/2008 12:17:51 AM): have a good night sleep, Ill talk to you in the am

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 12:18:02 AM): later. enjoy the pics

Joey (2/12/2008 12:18:05 AM): no, I'm not threatening you

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 9:03:45 PM): love bucket?

Joey (2/12/2008 9:19:08 PM): shat monster?

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 9:19:46 PM): yeah

Joey (2/12/2008 9:19:54 PM): hey

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 9:20:15 PM): i submitted a comment on hotair to hillary and obama. want to read it?

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 9:20:18 PM): here it is

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 9:20:22 PM): I think Americans are sick of double-speaking democrats and their socialist candidates. Americans understand what the war is really about, and want to win as opposed to facing Sharia law; they want to keey their money, not donate it to DC to redistribute to drug addicts and other assorted parasites (personal or corporate); they believe our country was based on Judeo-Christian tenets, not on homosexual, trans-gendered, atheistic philosophies; they respect the laws - all laws, not just the ones they choose to respect; they believe federal judges should argue the constitutionality, not the popularity or social holistics, of laws; they believe that capitalism and free markets work, especially given 10,000+ year of fine-tuning, and don't want social experimenting on ideas like communism, state

Joey (2/12/2008 9:20:23 PM): brb

Stonemeister (2/12/2008 9:20:52 PM): -run healthcare, and income redistribution; and they don't like being lied to, as the ends do not justify the means. You gotta give credit to the people.

Joey (2/12/2008 9:21:41 PM): can't chat right at the moment

Joey (2/12/2008 9:22:07 PM): gotta do some stuff and head down to San Clemente to pick up Joey

Joey (2/12/2008 9:22:18 PM): I'll call you from the car